Day 42 - Weekly Eval.

This is evaluation day. Although I didn't actually do much in terms of programming this week, I think it's important to talk about what I did in other aspects. As to my last week's goals:

• Complete the design of Weeklie
• Understand the situation and make a decision on whether or not to move to San Francisco

I've completed them on schedule. The final design for Weeklie in this first iteration is well underway, and pretty much a frozen concept from here on out. As for the move to San Francisco, I think we've also found out that there wouldn't be a right fit with my friend's startup. This is great, because it solves two of my biggest headaches I had 7 days ago.

I spent the first few days in San Francisco at my friend's house, not going out simply because I did not have a data plan on my phone and not even a paper map. I also had no idea how to take transit, so the whole idea was quite scary to me. However, on the fourth day since my arrival, I finally had the courage to do some reading online and step outside into the fray. What came about was excitement, adventure, learning, bliss, and friendship.

I thought there would be no way that I could get around and enjoy the sights without the internet or a map, but I was wrong. I thought that it would be scary and I would get lost and that I could possibly wander off into a bad place and never come back. Of course, none of this happened. When you throw yourself into the unknown, you find out that you were much more powerful than you gave yourself credit for and you wonder why you didn't do it sooner. I ended up making friends with a girl travelling from Korea, and saw some of the most beautiful sights this world had to offer. I discovered foods and interesting characters native to this geographical region, and felt immersed in the culture itself.

I also discovered a new perspective which led me to my decision to drop my articling contract and not take the bar exam at all.  I was at Ocean Beach in San Francisco, taking in the scenery and I described the following to my friend:

I walked onto the sand, took off my shoes, sat down on a log and just put my pen to the paper of my notebook without inhibition. The warm mist of the ocean spray released me from the firm grips of perfectionism and I just let my thoughts flow onto the paper. It was overwhelmingly cathartic.

It was there that I realized that the past 10 months held within it so many lessons, so rich, and so colourful that it was pricelessly valuable. If this was the case, why would I spend the next 10 months on something that will largely be miserable and not contribute much to my future goals at all? The only positive aspect of that option would be mere social proof which I don't think will be very useful, given my aspirations.

Put in another way, the next 10 months can yield just as much excitement, learning, and positive effects as the last 10 months. To give that up would be a grave mistake. Is it scary? Yes. Will it disappoint my parents? Yes. Will it push me to perform and deliver in a way that I otherwise would not? Yes. Will I be happy? A million times yes.

After all, isn't that what we want out of life? Happiness?

Yes.